Updates

So my dad and grandma left for Cambodia a week ago. My dad is going to come back sometime in a few weeks and my grandma is coming in February I think. My dad has been looking forward to this visit for a lonnng time. I can tell because he is always looking at costs for hotels, reading the latest news related to Cambodia, and blasts the music super loud haha. I'm already missing him even though I know that he needs this vacation to relax and enjoy his homecountry. He works hard, so he needs to relax and have fun! Plus, he's going to visit my other grandma (my dad's mom) who left to go back to Cambodia back in 2005. It's so quiet here at home...wahh *baby cry*. At least he's probably enjoying his vacation, whereas my mom told me that she didn't enjoy it when she went there haha. To my grandma that is visiting Cambodia (my mom's mom), she is so used to Cambodia, that I think to her, its just normal to her. I think she is staying at her sister's house.

Well other than that, I've been busy with school. It's somewhat mid semester and so I'm pretty much occupied with that. Not much going on with that. I was in the Applied Health major, but I switched into general Public Health. I felt like I wouldn't be able to do much with Applied Health anyways as it also incorporates the business aspect. I do not want to sell medical supplies, manage a clinic or sell insurance. It's not something I want to do, especially the insurance part. Working for something like that wouldn't seem fun. At least with Public Health, there's more to that. We actually do writing in that class. I like writing, and although sometimes it can be a pain in the ass, I just simply like writing.

I've had stuff on my mind. I just don't understand how people can act nice to you in front of your family, but anywhere else, it's like, they don't even care about you. I see people's true reflections and no wonder I felt awkward around them, not knowing if they were genuinely nice to me or not. Either that, or they 're just busy or have things on their mind. Whatever, I don't know, but I just don't get that if they dislike me, what have I done to them to make them have that sentiment? I want to be kind, but things like these makes me not want to care like how they act towards me. Cordiality is what I need to use, I guess.

Speaking of which, I've been evaluating myself. I am 21 years old, currently unemployed (still seeking a job since I quit), but a full time student. What concerns me, is the age part. I just feel that somebody my age isn't as "immature" as I am. I don't know if I am being hard on myself, but that is how I feel. I feel like a 5 year old. I have a messy room, that I can't even maintain it. Yeah, I'm busy with school, but I should at least try to attempt to clean something up. I feel like a kid because of that. There's people my age with apartments or kids, and here I am acting like a person with no responsibility for my things. This is something I need to improve, not to make others satisfied, but for my own benefit.

And then there's people whose Facebook posts I see about them graduating. I admit that I get jealous when I see things like that. It hurts because I could have been graduating in 2012, but I was not doing so good in school for stupid things, where I could have been focused on my classes. Then I also see pics of people my age partying and having a great time in college. I don't know why, but I just get jealous. I guess because 1.) I realized that I need to grow up but also 2.) I haven't been hanging out with any of my friends. It's no one's fault. but also at the same time it's 3.) people I knew in high school changed, I don't really see them as my friends except maybe a few people.This is why sometimes, I contemplate on deactivating my Facebook.

Also, I need let go of grudges and just be mature. I realized that the people I was close to at one point have took it upon themselves to show me that I wasn't good enough of a friend for them or something. I don't know. I guess some people weren't meant to have any form of relationships with each other. I guess the only thing to do is just be courteous. But I wouldn't like people to get fake with me, but then it's easier to distinguish people's intentions. I'm done with "high school drama." It makes me feel a bit embarrassed when I think about how these things are/was on my mind.

Self esteem issues have been coming back. I think it's because of my weight and how I gained alot. It's only 15 lbs different, but that is still alot. All I wear now are sweats not because Im lazy, or that its comfy, but at least I don't have to feel like I gained any lbs. I had to buy 2 new jeans and now I bumped up to a size 7 regular, maybe a 9 if it runs small. I remember trying on dresses, and I bought one that was a size 11. Crazy. I feel like my face has gained weight. I've been criticized alot for it. I don't feel like I look good wearing dresses or outfits that I see everyone wearing, especially those bodycon skirts and a form-fitting top to go with it. I would have to find a top with ruffles to wear with a bodycon skirt to cover my fat.I've been trying to eat less, and I've only been eating two meals. I know that isn't the right thing to do. I should be eating smaller portions many times a day and combine that with workouts but it's either I am lazy or have no time.

I just wanted to stop by and write. Back to what I was doing. :)

New Fave Deep Conditoner and other thangs.

So, the school is back in session, so therefore, Im going to be more MIA than usual haha. But heres an update: we had an earthquake on the East Coast and I seriously felt the shaking for like....a minute or two. I received a letter, saying that I got into my major (so I stressed over nothing really lol long story short...i didnt do good in my summer class so i thought that was the only class holding me back from getting any major so i was freakin out about what classes i can take and yeah yeah. ); Im in applied health which is a part of the public health program, also I had my birthday lol. Hurricane Irene affected my area (there were some floodings and evac
uations, but luckily Im not located in those areas).Classes were delayed because of the flooding from Irene. Im taking 6 classes smh. Health Research Methods I, Healthcare in the US, Women's Health, Stress Management, Microbiology (for the billionth time -___-), and Principles of Marketing.

Anyways, I wanted to write about this deep conditioning treatment from Ion (from Sally's Beauty Supply). My friend Cindy recommended it for me. And, now this is officially this is what I use for my hair care routine. She advised that after I shower, to leave this in overnight and wash it out after. Her advice was on point because it left my hair super soft. I think it outdid my Its a 10 leave-in spray. I hardly want to use any appliances unless its to straighten my bangs. One downside to it is the smell. It isnt a strong smell, but it smells weird. Its like a vanilla cake type smell mixed with chemicals ha. It wasnt a big deal though. They sell them in little 2 dollar packets or a bottle for about 8-9. I chose the bottle considering that I knew I was going to need more than a packet. Another fact you need to know is that it is 100% vegan. Im not sure what that means but my guess is that its because its one of those "protein" conditioners so its just to inform that no animals were used.

Umm, other than that theres not much to talk about. So, Im going to leave some pics!

boo!! Summer is done for now! and Ive noticed that Im hardly on here LOL. Tumblr is more my thing now so here is my page: http://beautyxbeast08.tumblr.com

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Even though, I've said this on my Twitter, I would like to say Happy Boun Pchum Ben (Ancestors Day)! Please pay your respects!

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Ok, see ya!

I havent been on much lately, Im more of a Tumblr person, but just to update, Im on summer vacation right now. I recently went to my cousins wedding, and heres a few pics: LOL @ my bro







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The wedding was awesome, and I still cant believe my cousin is married lol. Everything from the food, the dancing, spending time with relatives was great, and I liked the fact that as a wedding party favor, we got Cambodian scarves lol. I dont really talk much with these relatives, but Im glad that as of lately (this past year), it seems as if we do get along. Its not that we never did in the past, but around them, I dont know why but Im always really shy and quiet, so I dont really bond with them. I used to be annoying to them when I was a kid lol and I guess I thought that that was how they still viewed me. But at the same time, when I was younger, I wanted to bond with them. Id always feel left out because they were older and I didnt really had that chance to bond. I remember last Thanksgiving everyone couldnt believe I was 20 lmfaooo. Wow, time flies yo.

let me just add that the All Nighter Spray from Urban Decay is awesome, as most of my makeup stayed on the whole day and night haha. It was my second time using false lashes, and it was a little difficult just because of my nails lol.

Lately, Ive just decided to not let go of my past, but to just to not think about it. Its just time that I grow up, and not let these childish acts get the best of me. If I just care less and not feed into them [those who done me wrong these past...2-4 years] then thats being the bigger person. Im glad for the friends I have now. Do I miss the "good times?" yes. But it is what it is. For those who still dont understand: this girl Chrisi that you remember back when she was 17. Well, she didnt change, she grew up, she seen the sh*t you done to her and now she has balls to do something about it. This probably should be a whole other blog entry lol but the point Im trying to make is that I dont care anymore at the fact that these people I befriended done me wrong, thats their fault. Im just doing me now.

My cousins visited us from Georgia this past month and it was a pleasure to have them around. Theyve grown so much since the I last time I saw them. They left to go back home yesterday, and i already we miss them!

SPRING BREAK

This week is my spring break and I go back to school on Monday :/ I honestly dont know why I havent been updating my blogspot much, i guess I find more interest in Tumblr since its more convenient and quicker for me. Plus, the themes are easier to access and use. Anyways, my spring break started off last Friday when I stayed overnight at my cousins' crib. I wanted to get my hair done and long story short, it isnt the haircolor i exactly wanted.... wanted black On the under layers (as granted), brown on top and blonde streaks, but Im a redhead now haha. Its alright though, maybe I can retouch it and fix it but as of now, Im just a redhead lol. Other than that, I finally got to eat with friends whome I havent seen since....AUGUST?? LOL yeah, Finally!!!Other than that, I been chillen, watching MARTIN on MTV2 (LOVE IT!)

I would love to show swatches of things I bought, if only I knew where my camera went grrr...but heres a list of things I bought:

-Batiste Dry Shampoo ($6-8; available at Sally's Beauty Supply, Ulta): AMAZZZIZNGGG!!!!!

-China Glaze Nail Polish in Lemon Fizz ($5; Sally's Beauty): Purrty!!

-NYX HD Eye Base Primer ($7; nyxcosmetics.com or Ulta: its okay. Initial reaction was that its oily, but that goes away. It does last long, but I probably should try it out more to really see how it turns out.

-NYX HD Studio Photogenic Primer($14; nyxcosmetics.com): I liked it, but I need to try it out mroe. IT definitely makes the makeup stay put.

-NYX Studio Photogenic Liquid Foundation($15; same as above): I just got this a couple of days ago...still havent tried it yet!

-Ponds Cold Cream/Makeup Remover ($8; CVS): I LOVE THIS STUFF!

-Herbal Essences BOdy Envy Hairspray ($4 ish? I forgot, sorry; CVS): IT's alright, i might have to go thru another test trial to see results again.

I realize that Im starting to really get into makeup lately, Im not sure why but now, I see makeup as an art. Its a way to express yourself. YOu can say the same with hair, but Im not very good with hair hahaha! Im on a mission to lose wieght, and Im NOT JUST SAYING THAT...I REALLY HAVE TO. ITs getting to the point where I breathe on rare occasions where my thoracic region of my back is hurting. I am slowly starting to not be able to fit in my clothes, and my "love muffin" (muffin top+love handles) are starting to get on my nerves and unbearable to look at (okay slight exaggeration, but whatever!)

Ive been looking at my YOu TUbe channel, and it looks like Im a loser LOL! I do have videos up, but not much its mostly family and friends...Im in it but not much interaction with the camera! IM so inspired to make more videos, especially since I havea FlipCam (good quality, but IM honestly not a fan of the LIKE/DISLIKE thing...I dont know. I know that shouldnt phase me, because you cant always please everyone...eh I guess..oh well :)Plus, Im a little camera shy (or just shy in general lol) but we'll see!

WHen I return from SPring Break, I have a project due, a take home exam due, anda midterm. URRGH >..<

I probably should get going back to my nutrtion project, but until then see ya later! Heres my Tumblr:http://beautyxbeast08.tumblr.com/

BTW: MY HEART GOES OUT TO JAPAN <3 GOD BLESS!
RIP NATE DOGG

Im back in school. Most likely Im busy to even blog...we'll see. But I came on to say that the best concealer that Ive used thus far is Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse concealer!! I remember wearing the foundation back when I was a freshman in high school, but I didnt like it much so much to my surprise, the concealer works! I have problems with my under eyes. I havent tried it on my blemishes but Im pretty sure it works because of the consistency and feeling of it; its blendable too!. I might have gotten a lighter color (in light), but just as long as you put it on before the foundation I guess its fine...I wanan try a shade darker though.




BTW: I got a haircut and it kinda was not what I wanted...I liked the bangs though :)